You Don't Have A Vagina
Alternate title: Sam's style of parenting is sure cause Chicken to seek solace in therapy/drugs/prostitutes.
Chicken is rather fussy today about his fourth grade teacher. He brought a piece of paper home today with the words "Curse Mrs. XX" on it in large, jagged letters. I'm checking his backpack for a handgun on Monday morning. His birthday is next week so I'm feebly attempting to bribe him into submission with the promised glories of presents, cake, friends, balloons and strippers. I finally had it with him, and I laid down the law, Sam style.
That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
Chicken is rather fussy today about his fourth grade teacher. He brought a piece of paper home today with the words "Curse Mrs. XX" on it in large, jagged letters. I'm checking his backpack for a handgun on Monday morning. His birthday is next week so I'm feebly attempting to bribe him into submission with the promised glories of presents, cake, friends, balloons and strippers. I finally had it with him, and I laid down the law, Sam style.
Chicken, you need to talk to me when you're upset about something. If you are angry at your teacher, it is unfair to take it out on the people around you that love you and take care of you. That's what girls do, and you don't have a vagina. Therefore, you are not allowed to be pissed off at one thing and yell at someone else that is totally innocent in the situation. Got it?
That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
posted by Sam at
4:43 PM
15 Comments:
Excellent! I'll be using that on my son when he gets old enough. Hell, I'll use it on Hubs now! LOL!
but he has this manly testosterone though....
can make men really aggressive...
Poor Chick, he just feels misunderstood.
Oh crap, I have girls!
I love your parenting style!
I love the alternate message here... If you do have a vagina, it's perfectly acceptable to take it out on people around you even if they are innocent. Hmmm... Yep. Nail on the head. LOL
BWAHAHAHA! Love it.
no one can beat that logic now, is there? it's so plain and simple.
if and when i have a kid, i'll keep you in mind.
hey...and the alternate message works double for me cause i am pregnant...lol...
peace...
Truth be it.
Stereotypes are made to be perpetuated, right?
Funny, boys are supposed to get crazy violent, and girls are supposed to get petty and mean. Work on that child, huh. Remind him of Spermopolis and Sperm City (that's it, right?) and that there is no Eggville and Incorporated Egg Twp.
What parenting book did you get that out of?---That was tooo good!
Definitely important to note is that Chicken has
PMS - perfectly magnificent son, but in this case, it's better to
set him straight about who
gets to get away with what.
I applaud your style, Sam.
He'll be grateful when he's older, I guarantee it.
I like your theory and definitely it needs to be
uphead. "If Mom isn't
happy, no one is"- has to
be the first bit of wisdom
shared with my son and to this day I hear him 'think' it :)
Yes, Sam.Thinking of you and hope you are feeling
good - All work and no play...well, you know.
Before I come up with another cliche, please
know I am thinking positive
thoughts when it comes to
you, dear Sam.
You truly are a gem.
Cathi
OMG too damn funny!
This explains a lot in regards to the way my wife treats me and two sons...
I think that is an absolutely apalling thing to tell a child. It's not acceptable behaviour for either gender - what the hell are you trying to teach him? Quite aside from the fact that its demonstrably untrue (cf the boy's own behaviour). Anyway, girls breathe and sleep, and eat food as well, are you going to tell him he shouldn't do that because he's a boy?
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