The Best Birthday Party Plan
Going to a social event lately means I want to wear makeup, flatiron my hair, and wear a bra. I bet you $100 Carolyn would just say, “Throw on clothes and come to my house dumbass no one here cares if you’re wearing a bra.” Except she would be nice about it, because she’s nice. [...]
Any Mention of Cock Is Not Related To Actual Cock
On May 10th we added two new chickens to our family. I’m guessing they were already a week old. We normally buy the three day old chick right when they arrive at our local feed store but these were the two we wanted. Adam wanted an Ameraucana because they lay colored eggs. I chose a [...]
Poop, Germs, French Fries, and Penis on The Internet
I haven’t talked about my many poop stories here lately. I’d like to say the reason is fully normal poop functioning. The better and real(er) reason is my body is a fucking asshole and I have poop issues so often you would only read poop stories if I told you about every incident. I thought [...]
Medication Vacation
I tried to search my blog for a post about medication vacations and failed. I did find a post from October 2007 and updated Adam’s name since I still called him Teddy Bear back then. There was a picture on the post and I didn’t have the patience to figure out what picture so I [...]
Coop’s Home Birth Series
Part One House cleaning through prodromal labor the day before delivery to 3cm dilated the next day. Part Two Last pregnant belly picture to this really hurts transition. Part Three Transition and more transition while I don’t understand the proper usage of a birthing stool. Part Four Pushing and shoulder dystocia to finally a baby! [...]
Brave Birthday Party
Adam has a friend. This friend has a wife. She does these things that are amazing. I have two children in my home right now, and some days I think I’ve done a damn good job because everyone is fed and bathed and no one is crying (including myself) when Adam gets home from work. [...]
Derogatory Spam Plus Coop Stuff
I get about twenty-five spam comments a day. It doesn’t take much time for the number to climb precariously into the 500′s. Hello Monday! I’m really good about skimming through them to optimize my killing spam time, but occasionally something catches my eye: “The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt [...]
Shoulder Dystocia & Bonus Cute Baby Picture
In 1979 Adam was born via emergency cesarean section due to shoulder dystocia. The doctor performed the Zavanelli maneuver and a classical cesarean section. In layperson’s terms, Adam’s head was out and the doctor PUSHED HIS HEAD BACK IN and performed an emergency cesarean with a vertical incision running the length of the abdomen. This [...]
Coop’s Home Birth Story Part Four
Coop Home Birth Story Part One Coop Home Birth Story Part Two Coop Home Birth Story Part Three Shoulder Dystocia & Bonus Cute Baby Picture Anne, her back-up midwife, and the doula succeeded in coaxing me to lie down on my left side. One of them held my leg up and Adam was at my [...]
Coop Home Birth Story Part Three
Coop Home Birth Story Part One Coop Home Birth Story Part Two Coop Home Birth Story Part Four Shoulder Dystocia & Bonus Cute Baby Picture Although I was in transition hell, at 8:25pm there was still a bit of cervix. My midwife called it an uneven nine centimeters. She tilted her head at me, puzzling [...]
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