And Then: More Corn
Tonight in the car I wondered if a person could actually be depressed from being sick for an extended period of time. And then I laughed and laughed and laughed. And then chuckled some more. Hello, my name is Sam and I have had a chronic illness (fibromyalgia) since 1999. However, I don’t feel like [...]
Chicken’s Mouth
Today was the dreaded visit to the orthodontist. Chicken’s history with orthodontic care goes back to the middle of elementary school, when he had a spacer, head gear, and then four brackets on his top four teeth. His jaw wasn’t wide enough for all of his adult teeth and he had a cross bite. I [...]
Hanging Brains
Yesterday morning Adam went to the urologist and paid cash monies to have his balls whacked. I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am about the prospect of never being pregnant again. At the same time, I’m disappointed as all fuck, because I LOVE babies and children (mine, not necessarily yours) and [...]
Hulk SMASH
If you follow me on Twitter, you might have heard about my adventures with a shovel this morning. Here is the tale without the 140 character limitation. Chicken had to be at school early this morning to pick up this semester’s schedule. Egg and I arrived home by seven am, and I decided to feed [...]
Bad Grandma
You might remember that I nicknamed Adam’s paternal grandmother “Bad Grandma” several years ago. I had not yet met her, but I had heard enough stories from family members to coin the name. Adam’s father enjoyed the tales of Bad Grandma until he heard ME use the term. After that he was offended and upset. [...]
Zoloft FAIL
So hi! What up, yo? I’m blogging from my phone tonight because I can’t be bothered to get out of my cozy bed and find my laptop. Also, Adam is snoring next to me and I think he needs a good kick. In the balls. Hang on a moment. Okay, I’m back. Apparently yanking your [...]
Finally, The Morphine
I’m so sorry for all the Debbie Downer crap. Am I the only one that thought Debbie Downer had been around for more than six years? I am hoping that by purging my brain of the content of my dreams they will cease. Or at least slow the fuck down. Of course, the night I [...]
Motherfucking High, School
Any adults wondering why teens do drugs should spend a few moments talking to a teen about high school. Right now, simply having a teenager in high school makes ME want to do drugs. It seems like everyone is off to kindergarten this year, with woes abounding about school lunches and lining up correctly and [...]
I Love Doctors And Don’t You Wish You Had Balls?
Sooooo….what up? Nothing much here, just stuff…doing…the usual. Mostly trying to figure out how the bloody fucknut to write this post because OMG. I’ll start with the simply ridiculous and go progressively more difficult, okay? I found an in-network audiologist by simultaneously calling our insurance company and utilizing the search engine on the company’s website. [...]
Now I Hate My Insurance Company. Even More.
I took a xanax, hiked up my huevos and called the administrators of my insurance company. My doctor warned me that typically insurance does not cover speech therapy until a child is two years old. However, my insurance company covers speech therapy only when…. IT DOES NOT INVOLVE A DEVELOPMENTAL DELAY. So now I get [...]
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