*Squeeesh*
So, we know that I make up ridiculous stories all the time, right? Not here, on Sam’s Stories, but in my everyday nerdy twelve year old boy life that I live while being a thirty-seven year old woman raising three boys. In my house we have this thing, whenever someone is put down, insulted, or [...]
Fuck a B. It Has Two Holes.
I keep meaning to post my Twitter feed on the sidebar for those of you that are nosy but not into Twitter. Recently, you’ve missed that I got a nasty sinus infection and gave up fighting it on my own after a week of really gross shit in my face. I went to the damn [...]
She Doesn’t Know
I haven’t told my mother that I’m pregnant. I’ve been telling myself that it is acceptable to wait until the second trimester. I’m here and she still doesn’t know. At this point I’m planning on telling her on December 12th in front of other friends and family. It will be at an event held at [...]
Random Bits Of Titties
After thoroughly reading all your comments on my dress code violation post I have come to one conclusion: Snapping the flaps in place might be useful, even though my bewbies really prefer the open air look. Chicken’s 13th birthday is next month, and he has been trying to convince me that his savings account would [...]
Labor & Delivery Visit #1
Yesterday I hit 31 weeks and had a very stressful day which led to me sitting in Adam’s truck crying my fool eyes out while Adam and Chicken said their goodbyes to my extended family. I would have given my own goodbye but mine would have sounded like, “You fucking suck” which I have heard [...]
Pretty Is As Pretty Does
Today I injured myself while I was trying to pick my underwear out of my ass. In the crazy twisting of putting my arm behind my back and down toward my ass crack I pulled the muscles in my lower abdomen. For a moment, as I walked to the door of a neighbor’s house I [...]
Well Shit
Severe lack of sleep plus reducing my Celexa from 40mg per day to 10mg every other day equals fussy and needing to vent Sam. I’m exhausted and frustrated but it is getting better and I am mostly keeping a positive outlook. Please allow me to let off steam without judging too harshly. I would most [...]
So Yeah And Then There Was The Penis Pump
I said in a previous post that I no longer feel like death. Technically, this is true. However, I feel like complete shit most of the time. I am one of those ungrateful bitches that whines about how horrible pregnancy is and blah blah blah. I suppose when my previous pregnancies were pretty fucking fantastic [...]
Back Away From The Cervix
I finally went to the doctor today and had my first appointment. I can’t tell you how much I missed having not only my hoo-ha invaded by metal, my cervix scraped with something that resembles a fucking RAKE and then a couple of fingers groping around. GAH! The doctor said that my ute feels at [...]
Ahhh….the Holidays
A time of gathering, food, merry-making and cheer, isn’t it? Or maybe a time of angst, terror, horror and fear? Yes, most definitely the second choice. This year, I had two Thanksgiving dinners. The first was at my Aunt S’s house on Monday night. My Uncle P was coming into town from New York and [...]
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