Ten Months You Silly Goose
Remember when I got all riled up about the jackass physicians’ assistant Geraldine and her recommendation to night wean Coop (and every other baby) once they hit ten pounds? I left a written message at the office and the head doctor of the practice called me right back. Of course I was in the middle [...]
How To (Not) Take A Decent Picture
I really enjoy taking pictures. Whenever there is an occasion (like Easter) to look nice I try to make myself presentable. I prefer to be photographed looking less like a harried mother who has not slept through the night on a regular basis since 2008. So I put on makeup, ask Chicken to straighten my [...]
Abby the Chicken Part One
Although it meanders a little into raising chickens, this post is not a primer on introducing young hens to an existing flock. Diligent readers may remember that in addition to the three children that I am raising I have three chickens. Oreo we got as an egg-laying hen. She tolerates us but is in no [...]
Teenage Sex
I need some advice please. Chicken has a friend that is considering becoming sexually active with her boyfriend. Her parents aren’t comfortable talking to her about sex. She knows that she should use condoms and potentially start taking birth control. The nearest Planned Parenthood is a thirty minute drive away, and she isn’t old enough [...]
To Swistle, With Love
My dear friend Swistle has a Christmas card scoring system that I love. This year you can purchase it somewhere but I cannot find the link. (ETA: The card and the poster are available for purchase. Thanks for the links, Swistle!) Adam’s grandmother wrote and emailed this gem for all her family to cherish. I [...]
Bad Grandma
You might remember that I nicknamed Adam’s paternal grandmother “Bad Grandma” several years ago. I had not yet met her, but I had heard enough stories from family members to coin the name. Adam’s father enjoyed the tales of Bad Grandma until he heard ME use the term. After that he was offended and upset. [...]
Happy Birthday Chicken
I feel like a moron for not giving more information about Chicken’s birthday present. During the text conversation with H1, Chicken was distracted by shoe shopping. I grabbed his phone and I was responsible for telling his father that the mixer was $400. I was hoping that it would goad H1 into buying the iPod [...]
Lion Sex is Overrated
I went to the Wild Animal Park today with Egg and a friend. We went at the end of the day and the place was nearly deserted. I love having an annual pass. The weather was perfect, Egg was elated, and then there was the sex. The first sexual encounter occurred in the small aviary [...]
Motherfucking High, School
Any adults wondering why teens do drugs should spend a few moments talking to a teen about high school. Right now, simply having a teenager in high school makes ME want to do drugs. It seems like everyone is off to kindergarten this year, with woes abounding about school lunches and lining up correctly and [...]
I Love Doctors And Don’t You Wish You Had Balls?
Sooooo….what up? Nothing much here, just stuff…doing…the usual. Mostly trying to figure out how the bloody fucknut to write this post because OMG. I’ll start with the simply ridiculous and go progressively more difficult, okay? I found an in-network audiologist by simultaneously calling our insurance company and utilizing the search engine on the company’s website. [...]
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