Craig’s List
Teddy Bear wants a kitten for his birthday/Christmas. (Both holidays are in December) Being the crazy cat that I am, I posted an ad in Craig’s List. Here’s the link. I’m funny, no? Some people would go to the local shelter, pet store (no you fucking wouldn’t!), scan wanted ads, etc. Not at Sam’s house. [...]
Thanksgiving
Happy Turkey Day!
OMFG
My dearest Anne pointed me to a website so great, so fantastic that I had to share it with the masses (three) of you that read this blog. Remember my post with the picture of the Duggar family? Vagina. It’s not a clown car. Well it seems that Anne was so fascinated by their super [...]
Please HELP!
Chicken’s father wants to purchase him a Christmas present in the $100-200 range. I have two ideas: a Nintendo DS Lite or a digital camera. He already has the regular Nintendo DS, and his dad really wants to get him a “wow” gift because his two stepsisters are getting one big item each. (Chicken is [...]
Out of Place, Much?
I know some of you (Anna) are horrified that I scrapbook, the most suburban yuppie mother hobby ever invented. However, I redeemed myself this last scrapbooking retreat in the eyes of my hardcore people-hating peers. I was eating my dinner and forced to chit-chat with one of the other scrappers. She knew someone that went [...]
What Happens When Sam Gets Bored
I search Google for tiny penis and find this link. A must read. I have to admit that I also find 10″ cocks horrific, but 3 inches? What do you do with 3 inches? Blow jobs would no longer be associated with a gag reflex, but I’m sure the vag would object. She might even [...]
Various Bits of Lint and Very Bad Ball Smell
Quotes From Teddy Bear: “If you give me another blow job I’ll ask you to marry me” “If you lose weight I’ll buy you bigger diamonds for your engagement ring” “Maybe your blow job skills are hereditary” I think I should explain the last quote. My mother and ex-stepfather were introduced by a mutual friend. [...]
When You’re Fat Even In Your Dreams
My month of wheat/rye/barley/oats is officially over. I went to the doctor this afternoon and was able to sneak into the lab for the blood draw before they closed. Now I just have to wait for the results. Is it a wheat allergy or Celiac disease? I’m voting for wheat allergy because that means I [...]
Okay, FINE!
It all started many, many moons ago. The story is now so convoluted and just fucked all to hell that I think bullet points will get us through this with the least amount of tears and agony. January 2005 H3.2 moves into my home as a roommate March 2005 I start dating H3.2 I begin [...]
Pictures And Scrapbooking
I’m off to my semi-annual scrapbooking retreat. Here is a picture of my baby for you to enjoy while I am gone! Dude hearts Gus Greeper.
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