I took a xanax, hiked up my huevos and called the administrators of my insurance company. My doctor warned me that typically insurance does not cover speech therapy until a child is two years old. However, my insurance company covers speech therapy only when….
IT DOES NOT INVOLVE A DEVELOPMENTAL DELAY.
So now I get to call the actual insurance company to get the name of an in network audiologist, which will be covered at 90%. Who will then say, “Your child can hear just fine, so so the speech is due to a developmental delay.” Which will then not be covered. AT FUCKING ALL. Because apparently children don’t need to talk. Yes, I am aware that probably everything is fine. BUT!! What if it isn’t? What if speech therapy would help? Thanks insurance that we pay out the ass for, thanks for only covering $500 annually of well baby care. You fucking suck. And not in the good way. You suck with jagged hillbilly teeth and a dry mouth infested with oozing herpes sores. That’s how I feel about you motherfuckers.