I think Egg has weaned. I’m not entirely sure of it, but maybe? Remember when I was whining and crying about Egg’s two second nursing plus a big grin and a high five? Shortly after that he went through a growth spurt and started to nurse in earnest around the clock. I mean AROUND the clock. Goodbye nighttime weaned and hello sore boobies.
After the growth spurt was over Egg went back nursing whenever he felt the need, and I have been fine. I night weaned him again because I would like to see what it is like some day to sleep through the night again. If it suites him and all, because it’s not like I’m in a hurry. I can wait. Ha ha ha. I need some motherfucking sleep, yo. Really, I need some sleep.
But this isn’t about sleep, or whether or not Egg is truly weaned. It’s about my opinion on the Robeez explosion on Twitter today, and the subsequent post on Birth Routes about the controversy. For those of you that missed the story, Stride Rite (parent company of Robeez) distributed infant formula in swag bags at a private party during BlogHer. I wasn’t there, so I am not arguing for or against Stride Rite. I would like to address the issue of distributing free formula as opposed to this particular incident.
In countries where clean drinking water is scare, distributing formula samples that will result in severing the nursing relationship is wrong. However, in the United States I would hazard a guess that the majority of us have clean drinking water. Many new mothers want to nurse and encounter road blocks. Some manage to persevere, while some cannot nurse their children for as long or as much as they want.
I wanted to nurse Egg for twelve months, and after that I was open to whatever worked best for us. If Egg is truly weaned, he will have nursed approximately 18 and 1/2 months. I dealt with horrific oversupply issues, months of yeast in my breasts, painful plugged ducts, and mastitis. There was some motherfucking suffering to get to eighteen months is what I’m saying to you. I worked HARD.
I read a comment once where a mother disparaged breastfeeding as easy. She wondered why women were so proud about something that just happened naturally without any effort. It was one of the few times that I have wanted to reach into the computer and smack someone across the face. I am proud that I nursed Egg and I deserve every drop of pride. EVERY DROP. I fought for it. I earned it. I enjoyed the shit out of it.
But some women lose the fight no matter what they try. Some women don’t try because they have their own personal reasons. Saying that giving a free sample of formula is bad and wrong means TO ME that we, as women aren’t big girls. We aren’t grown and responsible and parents enough to decide that we want to feed our babies breast milk or formula or both.
I received free samples of formula. I nursed Egg. I was able to fight through the hard times, I had enough milk to sustain him. I could have chosen to give him formula. The days that my fibromyalgia was ruling my body and the pain felt insurmountable I really, really wanted to take medication that would stop the misery. But that would have meant weaning Egg.
To tell me that I am not able to choose how to feed my baby, to tell me that I am so easily swayed that a free sample is going to change such a huge decision is insulting to me. It’s insulting to all the women that have given their bodies to nourish their children. It’s insulting to those that tried, and those that chose not to try. I believe in breastfeeding, but I believe in women more.
Hey! I’ve been here before, but then lost you for awhile, and now I stumbled upon your site again. I’ll add it to Google Reader so I don’t lose it again!
So, I totally agree with what you are saying. Especially in the case of a swag-bag, I think giving out samples of WHATEVER is fine. I do, however, sometimes seek point with hospitals allowing formula companies to permeate. Not because I don’t believe in women- I DO, oh, so much (I’m a doula and a childbirth educator, so by JOB is to empower women)- but because I think that right before/after giving birth, a woman is extremely vulnerable. AND the “free samples just in case you need it” are coming from Health Care Professionals- and what new mother doesn’t want to do what’s best- what her doctors and nurses are saying is best- for her baby? I believe that formula companies are VERY CALCULATED in their targeting of new and fragile mothers, and I think it’s shitty to use a HOSPITAL as a marketing tool. I don’t know… I think we are so vulnerable as new mothers- so wanting to do it “right”, to be good at motherhood, to provide our new, teensy human with everything and then some, that we don’t receive the formula samples as “here some free formula. Whatever. Throw it if you don’t end up needing it.” Instead they hear “here’s some formula. In case your body tries to STARVE your precious, fragile NEWBORN, we will come to your RESCUE.”
Again, at a party, in a swag-bag… no biggie. But used as a marketing tool to chip away at someone’s ability to make good decisions for their child/family, simply because they’ve recently been through a MAJOR LIFE EVENT that left them a little shell-shocked and weak? Not cool.
I totally believe how much you must have suffered to BF as long as you did. You have every right to be proud of that. That said if I do have a baby and something was happening making BFing difficult or impossible I would sure as hell love to get the freebies because that shit is expensive. I don’t begrude others getting the freebies either.
I think it’s disgusting that any companies – formula, drugs, whatever – are allowed to give free samples, just because it contributes to the whole “YOU NEED THIS, CONSUMER, IN ORDER TO BE A VALID PERSON” mentality, BUT… Companies DO give out samples, and it’s insulting to think that women think so little of OTHER women that they get up in arms about OTHER women not being able to make the RIGHT decisions (because there are right decisions, you know) to the point that they think women shouldn’t be given any tiny thing (tiny) that could possibly, might, maybe, a little bit, somehow dissuade them or push them away from breastfeeding (the right decision). COME ON.
I will fully admit to the sense of relief I felt when I gave my first baby formula the first time. He was two days old, jaundiced as hell, screaming his lungs out, and I – with my new mother fucking SURREAL freaked outness – had flat, bleeding, cracked nipples. There is absolutely nothing that would have made me NOT give him formula that first time. If I hadn’t had a sample in the house, I would’ve gone to the store, but thank GAWD I had a sample in the house because man, those were some tense, surreal times. And after he gulped the bottle down like he was dying and promptly fell asleep, I knew I’d done the right thing. I pumped for six weeks with him before giving in to formula entirely (and feeling totally fucking guilty, for YEARS).
I am sure, if I had not been a new, shell-shocked mother, I could’ve persevered. But I didn’t. And the MF world didn’t implode, even with the guilt weighing on my shoulders.
That said, I got formula samples in some shape or form with all three of my other babies. And my second baby breastfed for THIRTY-THREE MONTHS (before *I* weaned her). BOO-MOTHERFUCKING-YAH. Number three for 17 months (self weaned). Number four for 10 months (self weaned). Number two had no formula, #3 had about 1/3 formula starting at around 6 months, and #4 had about 1/2 formula starting at around 4 months and gradually switched to full formula at 10 months when he weaned (he’s 15 months and still has a couple bottles of formula a day).
On Ya, hon.
I personally would keep a tiny milk drinking animal of your choice starved to death on my supply. SOme of us just can’t do it, and those that say it’s simply a matter of supply and demand are missing the point.
g
Now that I’m “on the grid”…I’ll comment.
I don’t really care who gives who what. If you want to breastfeed (I did, very badly, but couldn’t exclusively…) then go for it. Don’t let formula samples stop you. If you want to give your kiddo formula, then have at it. I really don’t think anyone should feel “unsupported” because a company, who is presumably trying to make money, passes out samples of their product.
I’m glad to see you here, “Shorty” Hee hee!
Okay.. Apparently I’m out of the loop..
But when did it become someone else’s business whether a mother breastfed or not? I mean, some want to and can’t, some don’t want to, some want to and do, some don’t even want to think about it at all..
When we adopted (when you go to China, it’s mostly a group thing), one of the mothers in our group started in on the rest of us because we were not receptive to her ‘strong suggestion’ that we should all breastfeed.. Um, some of the kids were older than 12 months and all had been on the bottle all their lives.. There was going to be enough of a change in their little lives without changing the way they eat.. So, she told us that we weren’t committed as parents and we figured that she ought to just be committed..
To each his own and if someone didn’t want the formula samples, they should have given it to someone who did… Those who were offended might just be those who are too easily offended.. Who knows….
Wut? I have no words for that crazy hag. No. Words.
I don’t think free samples of formula should be given out at all. Yes, I believe in the power of women and their ability to stand by the choices they make, but I also know that there are a lot of new mothers out there that want to breastfeed but get no support – either because they don’t know where to look for it or it’s not available in their area or various other reasons – so end up going the “easy route” and formula feeding their children. I think a lot of medical professionals give out wrong information about breastfeeding, don’t support moms who choose to breastfeed, and encourage formula feeding at any sign of difficulty. Why not? Medical professionals get support from the formula companies, why not push their product? (I think the same – or similar – about vaccinations and circumcision. Follow the money.)
This coming from a mother who pumped fulltime for two kids – a year each – and supplemented with formula when it was necessary.
peace…
totally agree with you. It’s great to have a choice but nursing is still often seen as odd, making nursing moms feel awkward out in public, eventhough it’s a natural thing to do. I nursed all 3 of my kids, varying from 8 months to 18 months. I gave the free formula away….
I still believe that it is the parent’s responsibility to go after the knowledge. My former pediatrician is a moron, but I checked out books at the library, searched online, and found my answers. You did a great job for your boys, because of YOU.
SERIOUSLY!!! Give women some credit for being able to make decisions that are best for their own bodies and their own families!
Just what I was thinking!
Fellow breastfeeding mama here (two kids X 13 months each = Saggy McGee) who was NOT offended by the free samples, and in fact loaded up so I could give them to my sis-in-law. Who am I to make the choice for anyone but me and mine?
However, if I read correctly, the thing that was the issue, (or maybe I should say *should* have been the issue) is that they were advertising the formula as “breastmilk replacement” or some such marketing thing that is apparently against the law. That seems to me to be an issue other than people being up in arms about the company giving out samples.
It looks like any marketing or distributing free samples of infant formula goes against this code. So the number of companies in the USA in violation is high. Ever seen an ad for formula? That’s against code. It is something that I’d like to explore.
Wow. I agree, I’d like to explore that code too. Seems pretty insane to have a law that says a company can’t give any of their products out free. I sure haven’t heard of that sort of law for any other company. Even manufacturers of liquor and prescription drugs give out samples. Here’s what I think: There needs to be a NEW law that requires all companies to give out free samples. In which case, sign me up for some free Robeez, those are some cute shoes. And also some liquor, while we’re at it.
I’m in line behind you for the free liquor & Robeez. I’d also like a free trip to Nordstrom. And a pedicure. And…a massge. You can sample those things, right?
Oh you would not BELIEVE how much I can sample those things!
LD2, I never really thought about those free samples as being offered a choice. I just wrote it off to marketing and forgot about it. Thanks for giving me an alternate view!
Sam, I completely agree with you. I fought long and hard to nurse my daughter. She was pretty well done at 9 months, but I kept going until she was a year old. She was bored, I was bored, and we were done. I’m glad I did it but I wouldn’t wish that amount of hard work on anyone else. *Note: I also had to supplement due to supply issues.
I can’t believe people get upset over the existence of formula. It irritates me when people call it toxic or poisonous. It is an alternate food source. I don’t criticize anyone for eating green peppers, which I find revolting. Grow up, people, and accept that different people make different choices.
I am slightly tempted to start asking these militants why they hate the lactose-intolerant babies so much…
I was given formula leaving the hospital after B was born. I thought that was interesting since they really really encouraged breastfeeding there.. but I guess they want mothers to feel like they have a choice. Which is how it should be…I think. There are lots of reasons why women don’t breastfed and they shouldn’t feel bad about their decision. I think it’s awesome for those that do. It’s not easy. One would think it would be.. the movies, tv, etc. they never show how hard it is and what moms have to go through to do it day in and day out.
I breastfed B for 18mths, granted.. he had formula as well since our situation was a bit different. But, I fought long and hard to breastfeed him for so long. Trust me, the pump was my friend (love / hate relationship with it). But, that was my decision. I agree with you, I think we women can make the right decisions for our family.
Damned tootin’. (Southern for “I wholeheartedly agree!”)
Rock on, you big weaner.
Uh…you know what I meant.
I will take that as a compliment of my heartily-sized genitals.
TOTALLY AGREE. I breastfed, and I am not even one teeny tiny bit insulted or offended by free formula samples.
AMEN!!!!!
BRAVO!!!!!
*standing ovation from a mama currently still breastfeeding her 16.5 month old*
Just one more reason why I love you, K.
I love you, too (wo)man.