OMG. I need to do some serious fucking venting to the innernets. Please note: still not fully medicated and still (allegedly) pregnant. I say allegedly because I’m a pessimist. Hopefully at my next appointment in the beginning of December I will get live fetbryo confirmation and relax. Listen to my laughter-HAHAHAHA ho ho ho. Ha.
My MIL warned me that her mother liked to keep the house toasty, so I packed thin t-shirts and shorts to wear inside. However, it is 81 degrees in the house. Even in a thin shirt, shorts, and bare feet I am broiling. See: alleged pregnancy. After about ten minutes I feel faint and nauseated. I’ve been hiding out in our “room” during the day, where my lovable husband comes in every 20 minutes to check on annoy the fuck out of me pester me to come out and visit. In addition, sitting in a chair right now is killing my stupid hip. Pain plus heat equals Sam FAIL. Did I mention that Grandma is wearing pants, a long-sleeved turtleneck, socks and shoes?
Grandma is comfortable, everyone else is tolerating it, so I am sitting outside in a sweatshirt, shorts, and slippers. I’m comfortable. Luckily the weather is very nice in Arkansas right now. However, (you knew that there would be more, didn’t you?) the grandparents’ indoor/outdoor cat is outdoors. They want her to come indoors. But she won’t because STRANGE PEOPLE ARE OUTSIDE AND SHE’S NOT USED TO THAT AT ALL. My MIL just poked her head out to tell Chicken and I not to talk outside. Because cats are so dumb that if we’re quiet she won’t notice us and walk into the house.
You might ask, “Why is Chicken outside? Is he hot, too?” Nope. But earlier, Adam complained about Chicken’s LAUGHTER. He was reading the latest from Hyperbole and A Half and justifiably laughing his ass off in a subdued manner. Adam was annoyed. My MIL is annoyed by Chicken right now, too. I have no idea why. So I told Chicken to come outside with me where I’m nice and cool and Chicken isn’t bothering anyone. Except, now we’re bothering THE FUCKING CAT.
Since we flew here, we are 1/2 mile off the main road and miles from civilization, I’m not sure where the fuck we are supposed to go at this point. Any suggestions? Oh hey! I just received word that the cat decided to enter the house through the back. Apparently our stealth fooled her kitty senses. Take that you stupid pussy!