Southern California is in the midst of Weather. Our annual week of Rain Like Fucking Hell and then no more rain for a year, which results in many accidents “ZOMG RAIN!!” and flooding because our ground does not absorb water. This coincided neatly with my drive to San Diego today. Luckily, I have an AWD vehicle and I spent four years in Virginia. So I understand rain, how it gets you wet and makes my hair sad and poofy. I can drive in rain. It’s a lot like driving in no rain, but you turn your headlights on and pay fucking attention to the fucking road, stupid hookers.
I was supposed to be at the appointment at 12:40pm to fill out reams of paperwork. My appointment was at 1pm. I arrive wet, poofy haired, and cranky at 1:05pm. Within 5 minutes I was hurried to an ultrasound room and anally probed lubed up. The tech was nice, talked to me throughout, and confirmed my suspicions about the presence or lack thereof a penis and balls*. Egg stared at the screen, then at the lady wanding my belly, then back at the screen with a slack-jawed WTF look.
When she was finished, she told me that I’d need to come back in a month for a better look at the baby’s spine and heart and the doctor would speak to me then. As she was about to scoot out the door I indicated politely that I needed a doctor right the fuck now. Unnecessary ultrasounds aside, I needed to talk to a doctor about my brain meds. Hence the hour and a half drive through pouring rain, past two big accidents (one involving a semi) with a toddler, a teenager, while pregnant. She ushered me to an unused room and told me a doctor would be with me shortly.
The doctor came in during a diaper change, which I believe is the new cigarette if you are waiting for something to happen. We discussed the Elavil and he said that I would need to meet with the genetic counselors at my appointment in a month. They would “do research on The Internet” and give me the results of what outcomes are possible. Here’s where I started to look around for something sharp and stabby. I’m going to PAY someone to ask the innernets what happens when pregnant women take Elavil? In a month?
I indicated that what I needed was not research but a prescription for Elavil. I told him that my OB and shrink had handed this off to his practice. He said that he could not prescribe me ANYTHING because he didn’t know my history, and my OB and shrink were the best people to get medication from at this time. He also stated that I was confused about the nature of this visit. He said that he couldn’t sign off on any medication, and that I had to take responsibility for deciding to take a medication while pregnant. Which I would bloody fucking DO if I had a prescription pad in my fucking hand.
And here is where I started to pack up my shit (Egg had emptied the diaper bag, his purse, and his spare bag during this conversation) while beginning to cry. I thanked him for his time and could not even look him in the eye I was so angry, frustrated, and CRYING like a little bitch. And I continued to cry, through the office, in the elevator, into the car.
As I write this post, I am still scheduled to see my shrink tomorrow morning. I don’t know if she will give me a new prescription for the increased dosage of Elavil. I have 50mg on hand to take tonight. And that’s it. Perhaps a trip to Tijuana, Mexico is on my to do list for this week. Because fuck me if I know what else to do if tomorrow’s appointment fails.
*I’m not telling yet if it is girl or boy.
What an unforgivably horrible thing to say to you, that you need to take responsibility for your medication choices! You have been nothing but informed and responsible at all steps in the process! I think, unfortunate as it is, if you know yourself and your options and your situation well enough, sometimes the best doctors for you are the ones that you can boss around. If you get fed up enough, let me know if you want the contact info for the UCLA program to see if your insurance covers it – they were the only ones I found that seemed to know which end was up
But in the meantime, we’ve all got your back – that doctor was an a-hole!
I think you need to sit down and breathe. I don’t think you have taken a stable breath in days. F*cking doctors, they can be a pain in the ass sometimes, don’t you think? Me thinks you should have a doc (on the side) I didn’t just say that, but its true.
I would be careful about meds and babies, but you know better than I do on that front. Please don’t kill anyone before Christmas, let alone harm yourself in the meantime.
Remember to breathe …
Jeremy
This is so frustrating. SO FRUSTRATING. I actually got tears of frustration in my eyes just READING about this run-around you’re getting. I feel like personally driving you to Mexico.
I hate doctors. They’re idiots who tend to think they’re NOT idiots. I hope you got what you needed today. If not, I hope you’ll come through Austin and tongue kiss me on your way to Tijuana.
Wow, what a jerk Dr. I sincerely hope you get the meds you need soon. Good tease on the baby gender.
Your not telling huh? Well that’s not nice.
I’m sorry that you didn’t get the answer you needed from this doctor and sorry that your regular doctors couldn’t step up and order the meds that you need to have to make it through your pregnancy. That sucks. I hope the appointment with the shrink goes better. I think A made a good point on if the OB office scheduled the appointment for you and to arrive at shrinks office with the research done by yourself and telling said shrink that you are very aware that it’s a matter of risks vs benefits and why you feel that the benefits of taking the medication outweigh the risks of not taking. I know. A pain in the ass.
Hay-Zeus! I am sorry. My fear of being off my not-being-crazy pills is high among my list of reasons for never being pregnant again. Danger to the baby is kind of a moot point if you off yourself and/or someone you love before the birth due to not getting the medication you need. Sending love and sympathy.
I’m pretty sure you’re not the one who was confused about the nature of the visit. What a dumbass! Did your OB’s office schedule the appointment for you? If so, they deserve a good reaming for not telling the specialist what you needed. Ugh.
I hope the shrink will be more accommodating, but I recommend doing your own internet research before the appointment and going over exactly what the specialist said…especially focusing on the “you are responsible for your own choices” portion. Good luck.
I think it’s a girl.