My friend Batty Nurse asked about any differences that Adam has noticed in eliminating gluten from his diet. Well, that’s a hard one. As an Aspie, Adam doesn’t have a lot of self-awareness skills. I have learned to tell him, “Adam, you seem to be angry right now,” and he has learned not to go straight to denial, “No I’m not.” Either he doesn’t realize that he is angry or he isn’t angry but frustrated, confused, or over-stimulated. By going to a therapist that specializes in the Autism spectrum, we are both learning many good techniques for communicating. Adam is starting to stop and think a little before denying whatever I am saying. If you think this is a lot like potty training: “No I don’t have to go pee! I’m not doing the pee dance! Oops I just peed on the floor!” you are correct. It is very hard for both of us. I cannot even begin to describe how hard it is at this point.
For anyone out that that suspects that their child(ren) are on the spectrum, please seek help. Finding out that you have Asperger’s when you are 30 years old means that every behavior that is somewhat malleable as a small child is a rigid behavior that will take hard work and YEARS to budge even a small amount as an adult. I’ve done some research on rigid thinking and what I read says to work on this during early childhood- when you have a fucking prayer of helping this hallmark of autism.
Let’s get back to Adam and the effects of gluten by way of alcohol and xanax. It is the quickest route, I promise. I’ve seen Adam drunk on probably two occasions. Once before we started dating, and once the night of our wedding reception. Both times he had no idea that he was drunk. Now, I know that some people will slur, “But I’m FINE!” when they’re plowed. This is different. He really doesn’t feel it. When he started seeing a shrink, she gave him a prescription for xanax. He uses it for doing activities that will involve a lot of stimulation, like a crowded fair or zoo. Although I can tell the difference in his demeanor, and the difference is HUGE, he only feels that he is extremely tired when it starts to wear off. Unless I point out how his behavior is different in specific ways (and push through any denial) he cannot tell that the xanax is working at all.
Adam will likely not notice any difference from not eating gluten, unless it is a large and primarily physical change. Don’t ask him about his poop for the love of sweet baby Jeebus! The change will be something that I will have to look for, and currently I’m mesmerized by my talking baby. In case you were wondering, I’m not convinced that going gluten free is what caused his developmental leap. To a, I did do more research than reading a Huffington Post article, I promise. Moving from eating wheat to gluten free isn’t difficult in my house, because all dinners were gluten free already. It means that eating crappy fast food out is more difficult, but that’s a good thing. And we’ll reintroduce it at some point and try to gauge the difference.
I’m in love with your analogy about potty training
Brilliant commentary!
I wish it wasn’t true. Luckily, he’s mostly potty trained.
as a mom of three kids with a combination of AHDH and Aspergers I can attest to the fact that dealing with people like this can burn you out. The constant repeating, reminding, making sure they don’t forget their school things, the loud talking, a lot of energy floating around ……
Today I got 5 library books on GF and/or Autism diet. The Autism diet makes a case for also excluding Casein (dairy basically). One of my children already is mainly dairy-free because of his intolerance to it. Is it mere coincidence that he is the one with the mildest form of ADD? Starting Monday I will be preparing their GF school lunches. I have 3 weeks until my (college) classes start and my life will be more hectic. Hopefully that will give us enough time to see a change.
your post about egg inspired me to do a little self-reflection and (with af’s help) realized that i have had significantly less fibro related brain-fog–woot!
also, af is doing a slow-carb thing and i am trying to eliminate processed foods as much as possible– it has made a big difference in my relationship to food/hunger (what they say about carb-addiction is amazingly true). it also makes me feel like i have more energy and i think maybe even makes me feel emotionally less up and down. might be helpful to try for both you and adam?
ps. I GET TO SEE YOU AND TALKING EGG SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
oh i should clarify–i’ve had significantly less brain fogginess since going gf. not to mention less pain. i had a bite of italian cream cake and pasta salad at sam’s club last week and it was SO not worth it.
Adam says that I am all around better when I’m off gluten. Tasty, tasty gluten. NOM.
yes, me too. and one of the ways af keeps track is by sexual appetite. so she doesn’t let me eat things she knows will prevent her from getting some…
The entire autism spectrum is so baffling to me. I am, like I’ve commented before, suspicious about my own son’s possible spectrum-related behaviors. And I’m hearing you (as well as my sister who tells me everyday) loud and clear that having him tested is the way to go. He’s 8, so if we want school to continue to be an enjoyable experience, we’ve got to understand how he learns, and if we want our family life to be enjoyable, we’ve got to learn how he processes the world around him.
Thanks for writing about this. It helps to know that as you’re learning with Adam it can help others like me to make decisions long before our sons reach Adam’s age. Thanks for the tip.
Sorry – didn’t mean to imply that you hadn’t done your research (I was referring to myself v HuffPo). I assume you know a lot about gluten, since you talk about eating gluten free occasionally.
So, living with Adam is like living an ongoing psychosocial scientific experiment then? You should get a lab coat, a notebook, and a nice maniacal laugh. (Kidding – when I am thinking clearly enough, I find it fascinating to watch my husband and daughter and their reactions to things. But I am actually a scientist, so I though this was just more of my usual aberrant behavior). Good luck with the therapy – it sounds like a lot of hard work for the both of you.
Interesting. I’m also interested in the whole effect on the fibro thing you mentioned. Then I’m always a little interested in how various dietary changes affect the body etc. I know I’ve noticed things in myself that have been changes but it’s a bit difficult to pick out exactly what the change is.