The current fuckage started on March 17th. I woke up, took Chicken and his BFF to school, ate oatmeal with Egg and did my normal routine. Egg took a huge nap, and by the time he woke up Chicken was home from school. I had just enough time to feed Egg and stop by Chick-fil-a before my midwife appointment that afternoon. Chicken got his usual chicken sandwich meal, I got sweet tea (OMG SO BAD YET SO GOOD), fries, and strawberries with yogurt. I was going to share my fries with Egg until he saw the yogurt. I ended up eating fries and drinking sweat tea at 3:30pm after not eating since 8am.
At my 4pm midwife appointment I was weighed, blood pressure taken, and I peed on a stick. Within seconds I knew something was wrong with that damn stick. At a regular OB’s office you typically pee on your hand and in a cup. With my midwife she just hands me the stick and I pee on that directly. It saves a lot of cussing after peeing on your hand, although waving that stick around in an attempt to hit a stream that you cannot see kind of sucks.
The pee sticks that my midwife uses should have all light colors after you pee. The very last color was dark green. I didn’t know what the green was saying, but I knew it was not good. I showed it to her and she checked it against the bottle. Apparently I had just peed straight sweet tea, hold the tea. The test measures up to 1000 (unit?) of glucose in your urine, and normally you shouldn’t spill any glucose. After I told her what I had and had not eaten, she had me drink some water and pee again. She said that she could understand a reading of 150-200 but 1000 was nuts. The second test was the same.
This meant that I needed to get a blood glucose test at the lab. It is one of the many prenatal tests that I think are bullshit, hence my seeing a midwife and not an OB. Many of the prenatal tests for various reasons have high rates of error. So you get a positive on something, freak the fuck out (because you’re pregnant and ZOMG MAH BABEE!) and then you need a more invasive and risky test to rule out whatever you’re freaking out about. I was trying to avoid this crap with this pregnancy.
However, I’m not foolish. Having gestational diabetes increases the risk of preterm labor, pre-eclampsia, huge babies that require C-sections, etc. Getting blood drawn doesn’t harm me (allegedly-you should see the fucking bruise I have a week later from one of the blood draws) or the baby. I made some changes to my diet, added a supplement suggested by my midwife, and went to the lab. They did a fasting draw, a 1 hour draw, and a 2 hour draw. My midwife didn’t want to send me a second time if I failed the 1 hour so I just got it over with all at once.
My numbers were:
One hour: 181
Two hour: 186
My fasting number was fine. The range that she wanted to see for my 1 hour was 120-170 and the range for my 2 hour was 61-120. I failed. Through a series of emails, my midwife said that I needed to talk to an MD and she gave me a couple of links to explore. I asked her what the ramifications of gestational diabetes were in light of the fact that I am planning a home birth. She replied that “home birth wouldn’t work with this complication.” My jaw hit the fucking floor.
For those of you that don’t follow me on Twitter, I have been planning for this baby to be born at home since before he was conceived. I won’t delve into it too much on this post, but understand that this is something that is very important to me and I have not decided upon it lightly. I started the pregnancy with my former OB, and once a normal pregnancy was established and I found my midwife I terminated my relationship him.
So here I am, visiting my MIL with Egg and I find out that signs are pointing to gestational diabetes. My home birth is currently fucked, and none of our family even knows that we are planning an unconventional birth. My midwife is covering her ass until I some how make this better through the miracles of a Medical Doctor. Would you like to take a guess how medical doctors feel when you call up and say, “I’m 31 weeks pregnant and failed a glucose test. I don’t want you to deliver my baby but I need help/advice/a nutritionist. Can you help me?”
This is where you are: A) totally naive and hopeful because doctors practice medicine to help people of course! B) laughing at me because you know that no one is fucking touching me with a 400 foot pole. The correct answer is B. However, I can read. I’ve been making more intense changes to my diet, which is totally fun if you already cannot eat any gluten AND have many pregnancy-related food aversions and just plain don’t enjoy eating because this pregnancy (just like the one with Egg) sucks ass. I also came up with a brilliant plan to get my sweaty hands on a glucose meter.
Because I normally take a fuckton of prescription medication for my fibromyalgia I know my local pharmacist quite well. I got back into town last night, and today I asked her for help. Armed with a Blood Glucose Monitoring System which includes pokey things and test strips I tested my blood tonight two hours after dinner. My blood glucose level was 87. For those of you keeping track at home, that’s a good number. (No, Toby, I’m not trying to get to 100.)
I also had a brilliant! idea! this evening. Who is the one doctor that I know that doesn’t practice CYA (also known as defensive) medicine? That would be my trusty rheumatologist. Now, he won’t deliver my baby. I get that part. But he has been drawing my blood and prescribing various medications to me for about four years. If he can point me in the right direction, he will. It’s a first step in a process that will hopefully end up with me having Coop (his blog name) at home.
I have an appointment with my midwife on Thursday. I intend to come armed with my glucose results (I see a lot of band-aids in my future), a lot of questions, and not leave until I’m satisfied. Whether that means that I need to explore other birthing options at fucking seven months pregnant, then that’s what will happen. I’m not thrilled at how things are going, but I’m not giving up or stressing out.
Just for the sake of information, having a positive blood test does not mean that you definitively have gestational diabetes. It is an indicator of the possibility. According to some of the research that I’ve done, simply having fibromyalgia makes your glucose levels wonky because your body is doing its level best to fuck with you on all levels. Which makes talking to my fibro doctor even more important. I hate going to the damn doctor.
Sidenote: Adam is going to his initial consult with a(n)* urologist on Friday. I get to sign consent forms for the ball snippage. YAY!
*I know the RULE says it should be “an” but that sounds weird to me.