Our local chapter of PFLAG hosted a teen Drag and Karaoke Night this weekend at a local pizza place. Chicken was excited by the prospect of dressing up and showing all of his girl friends that all their whining about wearing heels was ridiculous. There have been many conversations where Chicken rants to me about high heeled shoes and how all the high school girls complain about them. I never realized that he would have the opportunity to wear heels and show all of them that they’re not worthy.
Chicken wears a size ten in mens shoes. Without special ordering shoes or a going to a drag store Chicken would find it difficult to even try on a pair of heels. However, Chicken knows not one but TWO girls that wear size 11 women’s shoes. One of those girls had a pair of short high heeled boots that she was willing to loan to him for Drag Night. And thus began the insufferable bragging of Chicken regarding his ability to wear heels.
We found a dress at the local Goodwill for $7.99. In case you’re feeling bloaty, overly full-figured, or six weeks doughy postpartum I’d like you to know that the dress is size 2. Chicken is several inches taller and at least ten pounds lighter than I am. The line for stabbing starts directly behind me.
I bought Chicken a pair of patterned nylons to hide the leg hair while he was getting ready with his friends, only to return to a boy with shaved legs. At least that part was exceedingly difficult and time consuming, so I don’t have to deal with him telling me that shaving my legs is ridiculously easy. However, he mentioned that it was inconceivable to him how anyone would cut themselves shaving their legs. To this I say: Karma is a bitch, motherfucker.
Chicken went with three of his friends from school, two straight girls and a gay boy. One of the girls just graduated from high school, and is known as the queen of the gays. She collects them, tames them, and helps them become super fabulous. Egg thinks that she is awesome, except for when The Queen dresses up and it breaks his brain. Egg has seen her dressed up like a cow and in drag in the last week.
This is the look Egg gave The Queen while she was asking for a hug. Egg is in that common phase where toddlers say, ”Hell to the fucking no!” to people in costumes. Even to super fabulous girls that are Queen of Teh Gays.
I am so thankful that organizations like PFLAG exist. Chicken and other gay teens in the area had a safe place to hang out on Saturday night. Members of the local PFLAG board chaperoned the event, and it was only open to those under 21. A real drag queen attended the event, and she was awesome. There are a lot of intolerant fuckheads in the world, and I worry about Chicken’s safety both physical and emotional. But events like the Drag and Karaoke Night on Saturday night show that there are some people willing to create a fun and safe space for gay teens, a place where for a few hours they feel normal.