Happy Holidays!

So now that I’ve got the big stuff out of the way, I have some good times to blog about, thanks to H1 (my first husband). Chicken hasn’t seen his dad since August. August of 2009. You might remember that I told H1 that he sucked big ole donkey dick over the phone that summer, and I haven’t talked to him since.

Last summer H1 told Chicken that he could visit for the summer. I never got a phone call about flight plans, so Chicken stayed home. My current policy on Chicken visiting his father is that if his dad wants to see him, he needs do something about it. For the first decade after my divorce I spent a lot of time and effort calling H1 to schedule visits. It sounded something like this:

Sam: Hello! It’s March and Chicken gets out of school on this day in June. He goes back to school on this day is August. When would you like to see him?

H1: I don’t know what my work schedule is yet, I’ll call you next week and we’ll set up dates.

*TWO WEEKS LATER*

Sam: Hello! It’s April and Chicken gets out of school on this day in June. He goes back to school on this day is August. When would you like to see him?

H1: I don’t know what my work schedule is yet, I’ll call you next week and we’ll set up dates.

Just imagine this until the beginning of June, when I get to buy a plane ticket at the last minute when it is most expensive and hope that H1 pays for half of it. During Chicken’s last visit things were so fucked up that I declared ENOUGH! I would no longer hold H1′s pecker for him. If he wanted to see his kid, he’d have to fucking call, make arrangements, and buy tickets that worked for Chicken’s school schedule.

Chicken was sad about not seeing his father during the summer of 2010, because he knew his father was deploying for six months and would not be in the states for a Christmas visit. H1 told Chicken he would fly him out for a Spring Break 2011 visit. On Christmas Eve H1 called Chicken to ask him what was on his present wish list. His dad wanted to know why Chicken hadn’t called. Chicken was stunned, wasn’t his dad supposed to be on a boat somewhere? How does make a phone call to a ship in the middle of the ocean. Oh that! Nope, he didn’t go out to sea, he had been home the whole time. He suggested that next time Chicken call him, maybe he could have visited for Christmas break.

There was more talk of a Spring Break 2011 visit when Chicken talked to his dad in early January. Then H1 texted him on his birthday, October 18th. If you’re good with the maths, you might have realized it is quite a long time to go without talking to your child. On Chicken’s birthday he told his father that he had called the house phone a few times and never heard back. His dad told him they never use the house phone because no one ever remembers to charge it. They talked about a Christmas 2011 visit.

I assumed that Christmas 2011 would be another repeat of parental failure. However, Adam’s dad decided to take the family (his wife, his kids, and their partners/spouses/kids) on a holiday cruise. He purchased the tickets before telling me that I needed notarized permission from H1 in order to get Chicken onto the boat. Oh fuck. After much deliberation, Chicken’s therapist recommended that he call his dad and ask.

We were trying to avoid a confrontation between me and H1. I find it difficult to be polite when the person I am talking to is a fucking asshole that neglects his kid. I knew it was possible that H1 would say no just to be a cunt to me. So Friday afternoon Chicken left his dad a voicemail about the cruise. H1 called back on Saturday while Chicken was at the mall with friends. H1 was not pleased.

He was irritated my signature alone wasn’t good enough to go on the cruise. He was also upset the cruise meant Chicken would not be able to visit for Christmas. Remember, it is November 20th and H1 lives in Virgina. I have not received a phone call from H1 about dates, traveling, visits, NOT A FUCKING WORD SINCE AUGUST OF 2009. Chicken calmly stated the cruise was in early January and that a Christmas visit was entirely possible. H1 was mad that Chicken was calling, and said that I needed to get off my ass and call him myself. I guess the plan of not pissing off H1 did not work.

Now I have to call H1. I have to get a notarized permission from the man that cannot even be bothered to call his son once a quarter. I have to do this without pissing him off more. I can’t laugh when he asks me to pay for the flight, or laugh when he says that he doesn’t know what dates Chicken can visit yet. I can’t tell him that he’s a fucking idiot, I can’t say he owes me 50% of all the medical bills I have paid in the last year for Chicken’s therapy and doctors visits per our divorce decree. I can’t say he’s breaking my son’s heart. I can’t say that Chicken is gay and desperately wants his dad’s love and approval.

There are a few people in this world that I don’t like. A few that I strongly disagree with their values or opinions. But there is only one person that I hate.

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