I Wrote This All Day Long So You Better Appreciate It

I love reading blogs where average people take their homes from blah to awesome. For me, it’s not as fun when the person has the money to hire someone to design and implement changes. There are many professionals out there to make your home awesome. I don’t care. I want to see a real person kick home improvement ass. I began reading Princess Nebraska because she was doing really cool things with her house. This summer my backyard is finally at the “I need to invite people over and put them in my backyard” place.

When we bought our house in 2008 the seven year old backyard had a concrete patio, a spa pad, and concrete curbing. It looked like someone began to make it a real yard and then just said, “Fuck this. I’d rather be inside watching tv.” It also contained splotches of paint ball fun on the back wall, broken glass from Snapple bottles, rubber bark, animal waste, and cigarette butts. I guess my backyard partied pretty hard before we bought the place.

August 2008

I couldn’t understand how a backyard could exist seven years and not contain even one bush. It has been almost four years, and we’ve worked so hard on our backyard. The first thing we did was remove all the trash. Then we tackled the stupid fucking rubber bark. The previous owners must have spent a lot of money on bark. It was so heavy and we filled bags over and over. I HATE YOU RUBBER BARK. Then Adam borrowed a tiller and tilled the fuck out of all the dirt. He threw seeds down and watered vigorously. He fertilized and water and seeded and eventually, we mostly had grass.

July 2009

The chickens enjoyed it and we nurtured the grass until January 2010. A family member gifted us with a play structure. Adam and I put it together and did not cuss at each other one time. (I’m totally fucking with you. Of course we cussed at each other. That play structure was a fucking pain the ass.) We used $600 from Adam’s bonus money and bought trees and bushes. I learned a few things about landscaping in the process. If you buy a tiny plant, it is fairly cheap. If you buy a tiny tree, it is STILL not cheap. But it is a tree. So we bought tiny things, dug holes, and planted them. We watered them and loved them and hoped they would grow. This picture is after we planted. In the corner there is an apple tree. There are a bunch of bushes along the cinder block wall and the wood fence. They might as well be invisible, but we were so proud of our backyard.

January 2010

Originally we watered the bushes and trees by hand, but eventually we ran two water lines around the yard. One was for bush watering and the other for trees. Then we sat on our asses for a while. Finally we got a free loaner gardener for one day. He pulled all the weeds with Adam, and they put down black fabric stuffs to encourage the weeds to fuck off. At some point (probably around Adam’s bonus time but I don’t remember) we bought rocks and hauled them to the backyard. Rocks were the only option because kitty cats don’t like to shit on rocks. I do not like cat shit. The rocks were beautiful and I hoped the bushes would grow big enough to reduce the “We’re senior citizens living in the old part of Rancho Bernardo” feel.

Along the way Adam built raised beds and we’ve grow a thing or two to eat. I’m still not great at watering by hand when it is over a hundred degrees outside, but I’m getting better at it. We also planted our first live Christmas tree. He’s a Monterey Pine and the boys named him Monty. He was very petite when we planted him, and it is amazing to me how tall he’s grown. Our backyard isn’t complete, but it sure is great.

July 2012

9 Responses

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EB72 August 7, 2012 at 1:40 am | Permalink

Bush watering …. Bwhahahahah!!
Your yard looks fantastic!! Ours did, once. Three dogs, goohers and an indoor kitty for a hubby, it is just so-so now.
velocibadgergirl July 24, 2012 at 7:20 am | Permalink

It’s looking awesome! Wanna do mine next?
laura July 23, 2012 at 7:52 am | Permalink

pertiful!! Living in texas and having a yard, as well as gardening for the first time has made me long for sprinklers in a way that makes me a little uncomfortable…
jeremy July 22, 2012 at 10:43 pm | Permalink

That’s quite some progress. I wish I had a house with a yard. How I LONG to mow grass again. One day we will rise out of apartmentburbia.

It’s good to have a passion that does not involve breastfeeding and diaper changes. I am sure you relish the diversion when necessary. All you need is a hot tub and a massage table where we could train chicken to serve you hand and foot !!!

Tee Hee …

H1 is an idiot. If glasses can be free then why not? Sad, men who work in defense of this country can be so stupid. Who commands the assholes? I hope chicken is getting what he needs and is enjoying his time away. I hope he is doing ok and will return with e new leaf turned in his life.

Jeremy
battynurse July 22, 2012 at 7:36 pm | Permalink

Very Nice!! Looks fabulous. When I was with my ex I planted all kinds of shit in his yard. Most of it has died off but there is a wild rose bush that’s thriving, a peony and a maple tree that I kid you not was a starter I pulled out of his moms yard with 3 little leaves on one stalk. It’s freaking huge. Sometimes I miss having a yard but realistically with the summer time temps here most of my “yard” if I had one would die cause I’m not freaking going out to water. I’ve even done potted plants before and around the end of July they all die.
Doing My Best July 22, 2012 at 6:31 pm | Permalink

Wow! You worked MIRACLES!!
Margaret July 22, 2012 at 6:12 pm | Permalink

It looks great! I can’t wait to come and hang out.
a July 22, 2012 at 6:00 pm | Permalink

It has filled in nicely! Watering by hand does suck, but it works better than setting up a sprinkler. Blah. I hate watering. Usually the rain takes care of it for me, but we’re having a drought. I don’t care about many of our plants, but we have 7 year old pine trees that I can’t let die. 10 of them.

Anyway, your yard looks fantastic generally, and comparitively, it is hugely improved!
Catie July 22, 2012 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

I think it looks great! Definitely makes me wish we had the space to do STUFF in our yard. It takes my husband 20 minutes to mow it, that’s how small it is. lol.