This picture from Ugliest Tattoos is my way of showing you what the past few days have been like for me. You know when shit just get so fucked up and crazy that a picture of a tramp stamp that says, “Cum Slutt” just fits? Yeah, that’s my life right now. You see, once upon a time, long, long ago I was BFF with someone that I met on the innernets. Our friendship ended badly. Terribly. Horribly. Eventually I found out that there were other people that had experienced something very similar to what had happened to me. One of us started a private blog, and we used it like a forum but with only one topic: the BFF. No one from the outside was invited to see this blog except for our little group. I didn’t talk about it on the innernets because it was private.
It was a support group. We supported each other and as time went by others joined the group as they were burned by the BFF. And then one day the BFF googled herself and found a reference to the support group. She couldn’t read it because it is private. All she could do is see some of the people involved. Under the pretense of worrying about her career and upcoming custody case, she went on the offense and started up some shit. Threatening, blackmailing, etc. etc. Now, here is what she found:
Sorry for the horrible paint work. The things I blacked out were the BFF’s real name and the users that were in the group. Any person coming across this would not know what they were looking at in the least. The blog is private, so no one could get in and read. BFF had no idea what is inside, and neither would any employer, judge, ex-husband, etc. This blurb on google could in no way hurt the BFF (except for her feelings).
Have I mentioned fourteen times that the blog was private? None of my readers were invited to read. The only person in my life that knew about it was my husband. That’s it. But BFF lost her shit and started threatening law suits, emailing employers, boyfriends, etc. I got this little gem: “oh I KNOW I’ll make sure all three of YOUR sons’ fathers get some education” as a comment on my blog. (I deleted it.) Which uh?! really?! I haven’t seen my first son’s father since 1994. I have no idea where he is at this time. And what would that accomplish? You can’t lose custody of a child that you gave up for adoption 15 years prior. Any way, I didn’t DO anything and yet I’m getting threatened. She wanted me to take down the blog, which I am not the owner of and cannot take down.
Eventually, the owner took the blog down. However! Someone that is NOT me decided to lay The Smack Down on BFF, and emailed her with strict instructions: leave everyone and their families alone. At first someone else was blamed, but then I got accused of The Smack Down. Seriously? I don’t have the time or energy for a smacking. One thing that makes me sad about all of this is that I approach friendships, online and offline, differently now. Not simply because of this weekend’s drama, but all of the badness that happened.
I take things slower and I’m not so inclined to go “OMGURMYBFF4EVAR” anymore. If you want to be my friend, don’t take it personally if I don’t put out on the first date. I hate drama. I prefer raunchy jokes and saying “fuck” too many times. I’ll be glad when all of this blows over and I can get back to my miserable teething baby. Which is totally preferable to a flipped-out former BFF.